Sorting It Out
by Ryu Katanna
Summary: What if Brian and Justin had tried talking that night?


Sorting It Out

Queer As Folk One-Shot

By: Ryu Katanna

Beta: Miyu Suzuki

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The dark stillness of the bedroom felt suffocating as Justin lay under the covers next to the dark haired man. The man he truly loved. The man he betrayed. Tears flooded his eyes from this knowledge and he felt as his body shivered with silent sobs. He tried to hide his cries from his silent bed mate, but found he couldn't stop his body from shaking under Brian's arm.

"Hey. Turn over." Brian's voice was soft as he pulled the smaller man closer and nudged him to face him.

The only response he received was a fervent shaking of the head as Justin curled in on himself slightly. He sighed mentally before becoming more insistent.

"Come on. Roll over. Come here."

"Nooo..." Justin whimpered slightly.

"Come here, baby." Brian replied softly and nudged Justin to face him before pulling him as close as he could and kissing the nape of his neck. "Don't cry. Shhh..."

Brian's voice was gentle as he ran his fingers through blonde hair. He could feel a tight burning pressure in his chest with each tear that fell from blue eyes.

"O god, Bri. How can you stand to be near me? I broke all our rules! All the rules I made you agree to, and I broke them." Justin buried his face into Brian's neck.

"Shh." Brian could do nor say anything else as Justin spoke the truth.

He had broken their rules, and that had hurt Brian. He wanted nothing more than to tell his young lover that it would all be alright. Yet he couldn't. He had done more than just break their rules. His blonde bombshell had done it behind his back and snuck around with this other man instead of being honest with him. That was the thing that Brian had a problem with most. Honesty was the one thing he had come to expect from Justin.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry Brian, and I know that sorry is bullshit, but..." Justin bit his lip when teary blue eyes met Brian's hazel. "I never meant for it to go so far. I just...needed more."

"What more did you need? The flowers? A fucking picnic on the floor? The words?"

Brian made certain that Justin was really listening. He wanted him to really hear him. To understand what he had been trying to say without the words, but with actions. He knew he couldn't say it, but he had thought Justin knew. He had thought Justin understood what he had said by his actions every day since they had agreed to those stupid rules.

"Those are things I will not give you, Justin. They mean nothing. I agreed to and followed your rules. Whatever you needed, I provided." Brian's eyes expressed the pain he had kept from the rest of his face, and Justin knew then that he had really hurt this man-his man.

"You provided everything I needed financially, but not emotionally, Brian. I needed more from you emotionally, and I knew I would never get it after I asked you for one thing. It's not the picnic on the floor. It's about showing me you cared, and you couldn't even do that. You went out tricking instead."

"I showed you, Sunshine. I came home every day, but more than that, I came home to you. To be with you." Brian replied softly kissing Justin's lips.

"Yet you weren't with me, Brian. You were at Woody's, Babylon, or even the Baths. I don't know. So I made a mistake. He gave me what you wouldn't, and I took it."

Brian's eyes soften more before he asked the question that had been bothering him.

"Then why did you come back? If he gives you what you need then why are you here?" Brian felt as if he had lost his line of thought when Justin's blue teary eyes connected with his and strawberry lips curved in a smile.

"I came back because all his promises, all his words mean shit, because he isn't you. He isn't the Brian Kinney I had met under the street light when I was seventeen. The man who came to my prom and lived through the hell of the aftermath. The man who I love. It took me all of five minutes to figure that out after I left the diner this morning." Justin allowed Brian to flip him onto his back as the brunette positioned himself over him.

"I want to be with you, Brian. Really be with you. In any way we can make this work. You just need to understand that sometimes I need to know that I matter to you. That it means something to you that it's me here and not a trick you've picked up. That I'm not just a convenient fuck."

Brian pursed his lips into his mouth as he thought back to the night they had created their 'rules'.

"Well I want some things too." He repeated Justin's words back to him.

Justin did not speak, but merely smiled lightly before giving Brian a small nod to continue.

"No more rules. Rules don't work for us, obviously. What we will do is be honest from now on. No more lies. We work through it a day at a time, and see if we can make it. We are what we are, and what we are is no one else's business. We'll figure this out, and I'll try to be more of what you need. I'm not making any promises, but I will try." Brian said before kissing Justin deeply and curling around his lover and breathing deeply as he tried to control the emotions he was not used to.

"Alright, Brian. No more lies."

Brian leaned up to make eye contact with the smaller man below him.

"One more thing. If you ever cheat on me again outside of our tricking then do not think to come home to me. I can deal with the tricking. Tricks mean nothing. I want you to trick when you need or want to, but anything more...personal then that and we're through. Understand?"

Blue eyes held a sheen of tears as he looked up at his man. The man he loved so much. The man he had hurt, but had looked past that and was giving him another chance.

"Never again. I don't want us to be in this position ever again, Brian. I don't want to risk losing you."

"There's no such thing as forever, Sunshine. All we can do is try, and see where this goes."

"Are my ears playing tricks on me? Did I really just hear Brian 'I don't do relationships' Kinney say that we should try and see where it leads us?" Justin gave his best sunshine smile.

"Now don't go thinking things about marriage and kids in the suburbs. We're queers, and if we're together it's because we want to be."

"And not because there's locks on our doors. I know." Justin finished after Brian before curling into him and nudging the older man's shoulder with his cheek.

Breathing a sigh of relief Justin closed his eyed and relaxed in his mans arms. Brian watched his little partner before rolling his lips back into his mouth and making a choice.

"No, Justin. If we're going to do this then we're going to do it right."

Justin's blue eyes met Brian's hazel in surprise.

"Do you mean..."

Brian smiled lightly down at his younger lover.

"As I said. I make no promises. I will mess up, and I'm sure you will as well. What I'm saying is that you're my partner. This is our home. Our bed. Also when we're out together I'm with you and you're with me. No more going off without the other with tricks. I'm saying that I won't go looking for it anymore, but that I will not keep it from you when it happens. Same goes for you. No more secrets, Justin."

"Alright Brian, no more secrets."

~And life goes on~

~That's the End~

I have been wanting to write for this fandom for so long but have never really been able to carry through with the story. Please let me know what you think.

Ryu


End file.
